Did you know that the Gospels record over 20 instances of Jesus at meals? It was there Jesus deepened friendships, heard stories and challenged assumptions in the getting and receiving of hospitality. So it is in the context of this table companionship the Last Supper was celebrated and in this sense of hospitable community that we draw on this evening in the sharing of music, story and song.
Psychologists tell us that in order to learn something integral to our life, it is best to associate it with something ordinary that we repeat often. When I was a singing teacher, I used to tell my students to try out a new breathing technique every time they left the bathroom. That way I was sure they would practice it quite a few times everyday and the new technique would become part of them.
Jesus beat me to it, so to speak. He taught the disciples some of the biggest lessons and he associated them with food. But before we get to the food tonight – we embrace the water and towel – and what’s with the towel anyway?
The bowl of water and the towel are signs of leadership.
Leadership? How can that be? They are symbols of a very beautiful and significant form, called Servant Leadership that I think is relevant to all of us here, whether you coordinate a ministry, a committee or not.
In Servant Leadership, Jesus offers Himself as a model for the disciples to follow. Let’s look at tonight’s example of Jesus washing His disciples’ feet.
It was the Passover and Jesus and His disciples gathered in an upper room to share in the meal. It was customary, and an expected act of hospitality, to have someone there to wash the feet of those who had come. But there was no servant present, and the disciples were busy jockeying for the preferred positions in the coming Kingdom (and for dinner). They all wanted to be pre-eminent in the Kingdom, so none was willing to lower himself to such a menial task. However, it needed to be done, so Jesus Himself took a basin and a towel and began to wash the feet of the disciples. In a Jewish household, this was the job of the lowest servant! The disciples had come in with dusty and dirty feet and no one was willing to lower himself to such a menial job – except for Jesus. Giving them a practical demonstration of “Servant Leadership”, Jesus washed their feet.
It has of late become fashionable to talk and teach about Servant Leadership. We are talking about leaders who are invested in their team and their team’s growth and development and not just results. Servant leaders invest themselves in enabling others to do their best, allowing teamwork to move their ministry. A true Servant Leader allows those alongside to grow into a great servant leader as well. They are committed to serving with a humility and concern, having a forgiving and giving heart. They are willing to sacrifice personally for the well-being of others. They are willing to do humble tasks, but as a leader, they always have in mind a larger vision.
A serving attitude does not imply willingness to be abused by others or the toleration of exploitation. Servant Leaders are not enablers to those who should be helping themselves. A true servant leader knows their first responsibility is to serve God and then to serve others. Servant leaders must first of all please God; they are not moved solely by the need to please others.
In Titus 2:6-8 Paul exhorts Titus, a young leader, saying “In your teaching show integrity”. When a leader’s character is marked by integrity, then respect and cooperation follow and he or she has a positive Godly influence on others – this is real leadership.
Jesus could have done a lot better or more, if he had not had his disciples with him. However, he chose to work together with them and to build a team. He taught them, gave them on-the-job training, heard their reports, prayed with them, corrected them, gave them opportunities to see Him in action and ended up investing most of His time and effort on them. Therefore, I believe Christian leaders should be great team players and builders. Without neglecting their own tasks and goals, they give adequate attention to the collective tasks and goals and invest in empowering others.
But there is something else going on here that is not to be missed – my meatball minute that happened many years ago.
I used to do Homecare nursing too, and as one of my many nursing experiences everyday for 2 years I had to visit this gentleman and his wife. Everyday I worked, I saw him at the beginning of my shift and at the end. We laughed and cried and he accepted my nursing ministration. You could say we bonded well, but I knew there was still something missing in our relationship – that what the meatball was to provide.
You see, one day, as the elderly wife was making Ukrainian meatballs, she asked me to try and taste one. Well, it was delicious and I raved about it. Suddenly, at the end of my shift, there appeared 2 hot meatballs ready in a little bowl for me - that day – and everyday (especially on the very cold Winnipeg winter days)…what was missing was found - RECIPROCITY!
And here it is right here in our reading when Jesus says to Peter, “If I do not wash your feet, then you will have no part of me”. Jesus was saying that the willingness and ability to receive is essential to relationships. If Peter refused to allow Jesus to give him something, there could be no meaningful relationship because relationships require giving and receiving.
In the scripture from Acts, Paul reports some words of Jesus that are not included anywhere in the Gospels. We get these words only from Paul. He reported Jesus as saying “It is more blessed to give than to receive”. I have heard that scripture quoted all my life and almost always the emphasis is on the importance of giving but Jesus does not say that we are only to give and not receive. By implication Jesus says “However blessed it is to give, it is also blessed to receive”. Have you ever thought about that? It isn’t an either/or – it is both/and. Clearly in the totality of life we are to receive as well as give and that is just as sacred.
I got “it” the other day. Every female clergy has a “father’ story of when she has been called Father and I got my first “Good Morning Father” last weekend out in the community while wearing a clerical shirt. I was thrilled but it made me think of others who are hurting because of this phrase. I was thinking of other clergy who minister to people so hurt that using the term “father’ with reference to God is discouraged because as children they had such bad experiences with their fathers. So many children have difficulty giving love to anyone. For most of their lives they have not been loved, so they were incapable of loving. Do you get it – you can’t love unless you have been loved. You can’t give unless you have first received.
That’s why it is so important for Christians that we gather together for worship, prayer and study to nurture one another. You can not live as an authentic Christian out there unless at the same time you are gathering with other Christians to receive all that God has to give. Our giving will soon exhaust our supply unless we are actively receiving.
I don’t know about you but I have far more difficulty in receiving than in giving. My giving feeds my ego. It makes me feel like a worthwhile person and there is nothing wrong with that, but what is a little messed up is that it is far easier to help someone than to receive help from them. I find it very difficult to ask someone to do something for me. I don’t know if it is just because I don’t want to impose on them, or I don’t feel I am worthy of their time and effort – or – I just don’t have enough humility to put myself in a receiving position.
When we refuse the gifts of others, we are depriving them of something very important to them, and although it is not intended it is really a “put down”. Can you see now how it gets in the way of a real relationship? The channel through which love can flow has been cut off. There can be no meaningful relationship unless we are able to receive as well as give.
I’m going to close with a story of an American woman name Elizabeth Byrd who was vacationing in Scotland. While traveling through the countryside, she met a local farmer named Mrs. Helen McIntosh and the 2 women hit it off so well, Mrs. McIntosh invited Mrs. Byrd back to her house. Soon after a storm blew in out of nowhere and it was a big one too. It wasn’t very long before the power went out and the women busied themselves lighting the candles. There was a knock at the door and when Mrs. McIntosh opened it, it was a teenage boy from the neighbouring farm. He had been born with a deformed leg and walked with a serious limp. He explained that his father had tried to call to check up on them but the telephone lines were down, so he sent the boy to see if they were alright.
The American woman began to talk about how much she liked wind and rain and a roaring fire, “Then, you’re not scared?’ he asked. Mrs. Byrd started to say, “No we’re not frightened. Everything is just fine,” but before she could open her mouth, Mrs. McIntosh broke in saying, “Of course she was scared, and so was I. But now everything is fine. We have a man about the house!”
The boy broke into a big grin “I’ll see that everything is snug” he said, as he moved towards the door. He felt like he was ten feet tall. He felt very special indeed as he left the farm house that night, all because a very wise Mrs. McIntosh had been willing to receive his gift.
Do you understand now? We need to receive and other people need the experience of giving.
So I guess it is true then, as blessed as it is to give, it is also blessed to receive and THAT’s what is up with the bowl and towel on Maundy Thursday.
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